Last night the sad, tragic news that Robin Williams had passed away was beamed around the world and in an instant a whole slew of memorable laughs and stomach aches that arose from laughing at his madcap insane humour came flooding to my mind. As the rolling news streamed on the BBC News channel it was already known that he had taken his own life and how he had done it. It seemed almost gruesome that his body not even cold and people knew the details. I couldn’t take much more and went to bed.
This morning I woke up, I didn’t feel ready for the day. One more hero gone and what’s the bloody point and all those fucking cliches.
Then I opened Facebook.
People were talking, not just about his death and how he had taken his life, but about WHY he’d done it. The depression that had plagued him like so many others had been made the bad guy. Sufferers were being listened to by usually unsympathetic partners and families. People you wouldn’t normally expect to talk about Mental Illness were talking about it. The world seemed angry.
The world had lost a genius to the Black Dog and now the dog needed putting down and the world was Animal Control all of a sudden.
I still feel like today shouldn’t be happening, and it really shouldn’t have taken a man of 63 to take his own life to raise awareness, after all millions of us have been doing this for years, but it’s happening and… well…
What should one do when every morning you wake up and think -
“Today is the day the duck is broken! Today is the day I get back on the horse and get back to the grind and get back to my old self.”
…and then at Midnight you shut down the screen and you realise that it was just another Tuesday like the previous Monday where nothing got written and it was just like the previous Friday where no decent photograph was taken? Continue reading →
In my last post I mentioned that I had been discharged from Mental Health services. This was by and far the biggest thing that had happened to me in absolutely ages. It turned my whole life upside down. I was neither prepared nor unprepared for this to happen. There was no build up to the discharge, it was pretty much just announced one day and happened the next. I have written about this before, and I really don’t want to go into it again, needless to say, I have survived the ordeal and I am still here, so I really can’t complain. Continue reading →