Today is the anniversary of the day someone was crazy enough to take me on and make me an honest man. It doesn’t seem like 15 years, it seems like only yesterday.
There are 1001 cliches that go along with anniversary’s and I could sit here and write them all out as I really don’t have the creative spirit within me at the moment. All you really have to know is that with an infinitesimal few times I never been happier in my life.
Mind you, if the Mayor of the township in which we were getting married in had had her way we wouldn’t have gotten married 15 years ago. Why? It was all a can of Ravioli’s fault.
OK, it was my fault, but the can of Ravioli had a part to play in it too.
When I went to America, I watched far to much TV, and one thing that American TV has to much of is Adverts. One of my favourite adverts at the time of our marriage was for Chef Boyardee Ravioli. Now without going into to much of my private nocturnal doings, I used to make Linda laugh by creating characters with stupid voices. I had Pedro the Spanish Waiter (think Manuel from Fawlty Towers) I had Boris from Russia who was some kind of Gangster and a few others, but whenever the Chef Boyardee adverts came on, I would default to the Swedish Chef from The Muppets.
I would Hurdy Gurdy Furdy Burdy Chef Boyyyarrrrdddeeeeeeeeeee all over the apartment. (Say it in your head with the Swedish chef’s accent and you’ll get the idea.)
Anyway, one day, I mentioned to Linda that if I thought of that when we were getting married I would lose it and crack up laughing and it would be all her fault.. I don’t know why it would be her fault, but damnit it would.
Fast forward to our wedding day and I had totally forgotten about the chef and Ravioli altogether. Until the Mayor looks at me in all seriousness and says something that I for the life of me can’t remember due to the fact that the next five minutes of my life devolve into hysterical flat out laughter and hysterical crying.
The Swedish Chef had popped into my head and had started singing about Chef Boyardee Ravioli. I swear I tried to stop myself from laughing. The corners of my mouth twitch and them my eyes must have given it away as Linda knew what was happening and she went too.
The Mayor was lost.. she looked at Linda’s family for support, they didn’t have a bloody clue what was going on.
The Mayor asked us to clam down and if we couldn’t she would h ave to stop the service and we would have to come back when we could take it more seriously.
After that admonishment, I only thought of rival brands of Ravioli and no more sniggers.
God forbid you have a good time on your happiest day!
I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank Linda for still being here and still sticking with me after all these years and still knowing when that bloody laughter is coming!