Humour

Life’s Annoyances

I had intended to write a totally different post than the one I am setting out now, but after a day or so of contemplation dwelling on Death just doesn’t seem like a clever or sane thing to do at this time. Maybe at a later time, when my head is in a better place I can come back and rant and rail at the Grim Reaper.

However, I do have the urge to write at the moment and with death being the only “non review” type post on my mind, I thought I would pluck a Suggestion” from my pot that I created last year and go that route today.

By the way… what do you think to the new look of the place???

Anyway, the Suggestion I got from the pot this morning was

Share Some of Life’s Little Annoyances.

This could quite possibly be the most ironic suggestion for a post that I could be given if you ask my family. I am, as I turn older, turning into the classic “grumpy old man”. I figure within the next few years I may even be able to rightfully change my name to Victor Meldrew and not have to bat an eyelid at that prospect. The smallest things can really, really get on my last nerve and other things can totally enrage me to the point of wanting to take out pen and paper and write a letter to someone (Disturbed in Sittingbourne).little-things-image-one (more…)

Migraine – Be Gone

I have had a migraine headache for 5 continuous days now. To begin with painkillers would alleviate the pain for a while, but ultimately the pain would return. After three days, painkillers and my prescribed drugs stopped working… It’s a grand life!

This morning (day 5) I began thinking, maybe slightly deliriously, what would I do to finally do to get rid of this headache once and for all; this is what I came up with.

  • Return to the Stone Age and whittle the hind leg bone of an animal and trepanning my skull and see if the evil spirits escape my head, because surely anything that hangs around for this long must be Supernatural.
  • Have Miley Cyrus re-enact the Wrecking Ball music video and have a wrecking ball smashed into my head over and over. This would surely be preferable to having no real reason for the pain!
  • I would like to have one of the remaining 3 White Rhinos come into my small Front Room and continually run and gore me in the head! This would ultimately render me unconscious, something I have been unable to achieve naturally in the past week.
  • Call in Father’s Karras & Merrin for a Quick Exorcism – Can’t hurt any and I wouldn’t mind being tied to the bed for a week or two! I could catch up on some of the radio plays I have missed whilst not being able to concentrate due to the headaches.
  • I here by offer to babysit a roomful of colicky babies for a full 24 hours, this would preferably take place all in one room as the screaming would obviously be a hell of a lot less painful than what is going on in my head right now!
  • If this migraine isn’t resolved by midweek, I may have to resort to extreme measures. I may have to bring out the Justin Bieber and 5 Seconds of Summer CD’s obviously this is a last resort as this would constitute a mental torture and could end up scarring me for life, but drastic times call for drastic measures! Please don’t ask what happens if it lasts to the weekend… 1D.

So those are my options. Anyone else have any others? Drop them in the comments section or over on Facebook, at this point I am open to anything as you can probably see.

Until next time…

GIF credit goes to reaction.com via giphy.com

Top Ten Stand-Up Comics

Having gone through a couple of months of creative blockage it was kind of serendipitous that I should come across a tweet last night from @suzie81blog

46 Ideas To Beat Blogger’s Block

I have seen loads of different lists of blog prompts over the past couple of months, but Suzie’s stood out to me (I think it was because it had 46 items and not the nicely rounded 50)
Reading through the list it ignited ideas in my head and a spark set off in my head. (more…)

Dead Parrots in Ancient Greece

Reported on the BBC today is the fact that researchers have found a joke book from ancient Greece containing what could be classed as the forerunner of the Monty Pythons Dead Parrot sketch.

Here is the link to the article http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7725079.stm

This parrot is just pining for fjords

They say nothing is new but this is just one of the best posted on the BBC page:

Someone needled a well-known wit: “I had your wife, without paying a penny”. He replied: “It’s my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?”

Until Next Time…

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