It is Sunday, it has been a busy week and I have been feeling it more than usual. Next week is even busier. Who knows how I will feel next weekend? (more…)
Today I want to share with you a video of a track from a new band to me – Bad Pollyanna.
This track gut punched me last night.
My rational mind knows that I have never been alone in my Mental Illness, I have sat in full waiting rooms and read enough Mental Health Blogs to know that there are legion of us out there. However, when, in the middle of the night and I am sat on the side of the bed in the dark and things got a little too loud in my head, I don’t think I have ever felt so alone, or when I am out and things got a little too crazy and the world swamped me and it feels like it wants to eat me alive, I have never felt so vulnerable.
This song just for a few minutes lifted me up and reminded me that there are others out there and I and others with problems sit on the shoulders of those who support us when we are not quite as strong as we are on our better days.
You can find out more about Bad Pollyanna at their website www.badpollyanna.com where you can get all of their social media details from to keep up to date with them.
(Read that post title to the tune John Bunyan’s “To Be A Pilgrim” – not that it has a bloody thing to do with this post)
Just over three weeks ago I went to the Doctors to keep a self made promise I made to my Mum. I am the kind of person who likes to try and keep his promises where ever possible, but sometimes I over egg the pudding, and occasionally I let my gob get in the way of common sense and offer more than I can deliver. This is one of those time, folks.
Without airing everyone’s granny pants to the world, its’ time for me to give up smoking for the benefit of everyone in the household. To be supportive to Mum who has had to give up over night and has done it cold turkey and has been smoke free for close to 100 days,. For me health wise, I am getting no younger and with that natural health problems are just hastened on with adding cigarettes to the mix. Then there is the financial side to the whole thing,, it’s bloody expensive. (more…)
I was having an early hours chat with a good friend Henrietta about my lack of blogging over the past couple of months and she suggested I take a look at a couple of regularly run blogging events that might get me back into the swing of things. A great idea as the A-Z Challenge did wonders for my creativity and I felt great (up to a point).
One of the events is the “1000 Voices Speak for Compassion” blog event that’s run on the 20th of every month. So, nothing like giving myself a challenge here. Seeing as I tend to rabbit on I’ll just link to the blog’s about page and you can read their much more eloquent description of what they do and why. 1000 Speak for Compassion (more…)
I have a dream that I will return to blogging and receive a rapturous return from my hundreds of adoring fans. They will await my every word, they will fawn over my every drop letter and drip over my misplaced semi colons (They have to be misplaced I dunno where to use em normally).
I have given those dreams and now blog just for the need to write something down now and again and If anyone reads it then have a blast. My blog will never go away. I have too much there to get rid of it… i just don’t have that much to say anymore. Maybe that will change now that I have more time on my hands. You see dear me.. I lost my job last week. I am now unemployed and for all intenets and purposes unemployable. When you can’t leave the house on your own it makes it a bit difficult to do a days work. I am pretty sure that they don’t allow you to bring your mum to work every day to keep the nasty people from looking at me and talking about me.
Am I downhearted?…. Nah. I knew it was coming I was just suprised it took em so long to do it. The kill was done swiftly enough… about Four weeks from start to finish and that included going to see a works doctor in the middle. If i was looking for another job about now I would be sweating it, but given my health issues work isn’t really a priority at the moment. Getting to a place where i can leave the house unaccompanied is what is on my mind at the moment.
I know I said I wasn’t going to be writing about my Bipolar on here any more but it seemed like the right thing to do and I am not really talking about it it’s just in the background as it always is. I have come to the realisation that no matter what I do I have to take into account the hallucinations, the voices and the paranoia first and then get into the right headspace to do what ever it was I needed to get done in the first place. Some would say it would just be as easy to not do anything and just be strange for the rest of my life…. hey it’s an option I have considered.. but I can’t afford the Tin foil for the hat and windows just yet, but I have a savings plan for it and my design for the tin foil hat is coming along nicely.
I have had an Elvis evening. I downloaded a 10 cd japanese boxset and have just gotten around to listening to some of the tracks of it. It’s the complete singles collection so It has all his well known stuff and stuff that I dug from growing up in a family full of Elvis fans. Looking back to my childhood, Elvis was everywhere. My Uncle Barry did an oil painting that hung on our living room wall for as long as I can care to remember. It was like those pictures of the Mother Mary Catholics have on thier walls, I almost prayed to that damn picture. When I was 7 or 8 I went away on a school camp and we had a talent night, and everyone had to do something … I did my Elvis impression… the kids didn’t get it but the Teachers dug my gyrating hips and snarl. They either got it or they were laughing at me for being a dork… in my present state of mind i think it was the latter HAHAHAHA.
Well that’s it from me for one night.
Until Next Time…