Question: How do you know you failed in your life?

Answer: When the guy you went to college with who did little to no work outside of the actual theatre and got handed his diploma by a bent system that rewarded one and took from another ends up working for one of THE most prestigious theatres in the country and sounds too fucking happy by far and I end up doing what I am doing when in reality all I would like to be doing is either working in the theatre or be back at college getting the knowledge to become something more than a phone jockey. Damn it I want this fucking Bipolar to never have hit me. I don’t want to tied to a job I hate, I want to learn. I need to learn.

As for the smug git who I spoke to who when I told him who I was just laughed in such a way as to say.. I made it you didn’t…… I know you cheated I know you suck and everyone on that course who actually worked for the awards they got… they all know you cheated but most of all that you SUCK.

I apologise for breaking my silence with this little pissyfit but man I needed to do it here and now.

Back soon Promise

Christmas in SEPTEMBER??????

I want to take a break from my theatrical leanings for a day. I got me a hummer of a rant to go on.

Today is September 4th 2005. So why when I go shopping this afternoon do I see this…

I was with Linda and I went ape. I couldn’t believe it the start of September and there’s Christmas products on sale. CHRISTMAS PRODUCTS IN SEPTEMBER.

What the f**k is going on when you can buy Christmas selection boxes in FUCKING SEPTEMBER.

I am not a religious person so the over commercialization of Christmas has nothing to do with “The Message of Christmas”. It has to do with the blatant ripping off of the consumer. Food stuffs bought now are highly unlikely to be fresh and premium when December 25th comes round. What’s the point in buying so early, your going to either eat the chocolate in a fit of chocoholic withdrawal on some boring Sunday afternoon or your going to have a very upset 6 year old on Christmas morning when they go to open their selection box and find all the chocolate bars are white and moldy.

So what do you do then? You go out and buy more closer to the date, so your suckered into buying the same product twice. I don’t think sooooooo!!!!!!!

So what do you do? You go shopping and if you see any Christmas products on sale take a picture with your mobile phone (you have one handy) and send it to me using the link on the sidebar. I’ll post em, make sure you include where you took the picture and we’ll name em and shame em.

After you have taken your picture go to the stores customer service area and ask for an email address or a snail mail address and then send them a letter showing your displeasure at such crass commercialization of the holiday season.

Hell it’s not even Halloween yet. I just don’t get it.

Let me know what you think in the comments section.

Until Next Time…

It’s just not Cricket

It’s not very often that the office I work in is quiet… it is after all a call centre, so people are usually talking. But as of late there have been wonderful moments where the noise is low enough to almost be relaxing.

However, over the past couple of days there has been an intruder. A noisy intruder. It sounds like a cricket on a balmy Alabama night. It’s driving me crazy. If I had a gun I would hunt it down and blast it to smithereens. If I had dynamite, I would blow it to kingdom come. If I was Wile E Coyote I would be smushed up against a cliff somewhere.

I can’t find the origin of this infernal noise. Some say it is a squeaky fan, but I can’t find it. Some say it’s a faulty Air Con unit, again all the unit’s around here are working fine. Which leads me to think that it really is a Cricket. A real live cricket here in Northants. Not that this should be a surprise as I have no idea if crickets actually reside in Northants normally, but after being here for three and a bit years this is the first one I think I have heard.

Now the above could just be part of some crazy psychosis that I am going through as others don’t seem to be able to hear the cricket just a squeaky fan or faulty air con unit. But I know the truth I know I am right and damn it I will hunt that lil sucker down…now where is Acme’s telephone number.

F**k A Doodle Doo

Why do days like today come along.. they just plain old suck.

I knew I was onto a lost cause when my alarm went off at 8.30 and it dawned on me that I in fact couldn’t go back to sleep until someone called me later, I, instead had to drag my sorry ass out of bed and get to a psych appointment at 9. I shot out of bed and nearly fell down stairs.. great start eh? I perched on my computer chair and I had to stop before I freaked.. I had a smoke and breathed for a second.

I made it to my appointment 15 minutes late… they don’t bother the crazies too much about time keeping

It was a hard session in a way as up until now we had been dealing with getting me better in the now and not really looking too far back into my mental history and causes of previous bouts of depression and mania. Today we looked back at the two that came to my mind most. One being my fathers death and how I felt responsible. The other, I won’t go into here. The meeting was like stirring a cup of coffee that had been left sat for a couple of days.. the milk coffee and water kind of separate and don’t want to play together anymore.. well that’s is how my head felt after I got home this morning. I hadn’t thought about my Dad’s death in a while and the feelings it stirred up shook me quite a bit. I probably won’t lose much sleep but I never know from one minute to the next what is going to happen in my wacky head.

I get home after the appointment, I get a call from Linda saying that all the money from our bank account was gone.. had we been robbed had my using the visa card on-line left us open to card fraud…nope we’d overspent by paying a big bill at the start of our financial month and it had left the same bill unplayable for the next month. damned if ya do damned if ya don’t thing. Soooooooooo I call up the nice people at Cahoot (cause they are the friendly Internet bank) to see if we could rearrange the way my account works and maybe move my payment date up to after we both get paid…. they COULDN’T do it.. it was out of their hands they weren’t able to do that. The only solution the monkey on the phone could suggest was to take out a second loan to pay off the first and try and arrange the loan start date to coincide with out pay days. Now take into account when I took out this loan there was no mention of this being the case that the date they got around to putting my information into their system would be the date we would be tied to for the duration. If I had known that I would have certainly looked elsewhere.

I was asked to call another department and speak to them to see if they could help and they were slightly more helpful by suggesting I open a second bank account to deal with just that one bill (considering the amount of hassle we had to go through to get the one account set up originally we may need to find a new bank).

Going from a great mood yesterday to this dirge today is a real freaking drag. I have decided to take Friday off and just try and get back my equilibrium and not let this get too me. I am doing so well (pats self on the back) it would be a shame to piss that up against the wall over this.

On the Big Brother front just as an update two of the female house-guests Makosi and Sam decided to take a romp around the BB garden Sans tops.. now how convenient was that two days before eviction and with everyone up for the chop.. me.. cynical.. never.

Until Next Time…

Waiting in waiting rooms

So a little background first. I have been of work for about 5 and a half weeks now. I had some Bi-Polar issues and was asked to stay off work until something could be arranged to get me back to work properly and safely for everyone. Needless to say I am going out of my mind with boredom. So when I got a letter from the occupational health doctor saying that he suggests another 4-6 weeks off I nearly cried. To cut a long story short, I had to make an appointment with my Doctor to get a sick note for the work records.

The only appointment I could get was 8.20 this morning. That was bad enough considering my sleep is at best broken and I end up having to sleep during the day just to get through to bedtime (side effects of the medication I am on). For once I make it there early only to be told that my doctor is off sick. Now I am not saying that he is a bad advert of the NHS but this guy has more time off sick than all his patients put together. But he is a great doc and I wouldn’t change him for the world.

The receptionist (who knows Linda and I as the Internet couple – Linda told her once that we met on-line and it kind of stuck) told me the great news and asked if I wanted to see someone else or wait for my doc to come back… I really didn’t feel like coming back so I said I would wait (SUCKER). She put me down to see another nice doctor and I went to wait. I realized that i would probably have to wait till he had seen his first patient but i didn’t expect to wait an hour, forgotten and discarded, I strolled back up to the desk and inquired when i would be seen only to be asked

“Hasn’t he seen you yet?”
“ummmm No”
“I’ll make sure your next” said the really nice receptionist

Away I went to rejoin the dying masses of the doctors waiting room, across from a baby that sounded like it had been smoking twenty odd years, an older lady who coughed like she had smoked the strongest cigarettes since before she was born and next to a man who thought that the tremble in his hands was a great masturbatory aid (I made that bit up but he did have quite a good hand rhythm going on).

The doctors door opened and one relieved ex patient exited and my name was called… no apology for making me wait with the plague ridden citizens for over an hour just a

“Come in and sit down what do you want…”
“I need a sick note for 4 weeks as per this letter please” offers the ‘nice’ doctor the letter explaining what was going on with me and why i need the time off.
“OK I’ll write you off for two weeks…”
“4 Weeks???”
“No it says here two weeks…” I point to the next line “4 weeks it is then….anything else?”
“Wellllllllll.. “

and off I go on what i need while I am there… Well he kept me waiting.

Once done in there I head off to the pharmacy next door another 20 minute wait.. and the place was empty… the only person who came in was a methadone patient who chose to chew his medication which apparently makes the medication null and void. I tell you… all work stopped for 5 minutes to discuss that one.. not the fact that I had been sat there for ten minutes already.. just that some smack-head chewed a fucking pill rather than swallow it whole… GRRRRRRRR.

Anyway I feel better now that I have that off my chest. So I am now going to get a nice hot cup of tea and go back to bed.

Until Next Time…

When I were a lad…

Laying in bed last night, my wonderful thoughtful wife bought me right slap dab up to date… no dear reader I am not going to describe some earth moving sexual devience but rather quote my dear darling wife….

“You’re gonna be 31 in a One month and One Day… You’re getting OLD…”

Well that was it, that was any romance out of the window I can tell you. I’m getting old. She didn’t say the kind thing of your getting oldER no… you’re getting OLD. ARgggggghHHHHhhh my back is killing me… my joints are seizeing as I type.. my eyesight… I’M GOING BLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND. (enough of the dramatics).

So yes, I am going to be 31 and yes I am starting to realise that I am no longer 16 anymore. I can’t stay up all night and I prefer a nice cup of tea to a night of aloholic revelry, and the first thing (after a cigarette) I look for in the morning is my slippers. But I figure if i keep thinking young I’ll stay a little young somewhere in my life…. Ahh who am I kidding Bloody Kids.. don’t know there born.. gahhhhhhh.

Until Next Time…

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