A-Z Update

A-Z 2015 Challenge Banner

Folks, I hate what I am about to write because dammit, I was having so much fun.

I am going to have to drop out of this years challenge.

I have had a pretty major family emergency come up that has over the weekend.  I won’t go into details, but needless to say, it has pretty much sapped my will to continue writing in the style that I have been over the past couple of weeks for the challenge and as for having the time at the moment, I just don’t.

I’ll try to post an update on how things are going with me later in the week and maybe if things allow I may try to get a prompt from somewhere and write a post to ease the boredom.

I want to take this chance to thank absolutely everyone who has stopped by the blog, new and old over the past 10/11 days. Those who have liked a post, re-tweeted a post. Left a comment or just read and run. You all have lifted my spirits and given me more reasons to keep on writing in the future.

I will complete the rest of the challenge later in the year when circumstances allow.

Until next time…

A-Z – J – Jump To The Left


I would like, if I may, to take you on a journey.. a strange journey where TV executive think it is OK to mess with something that is close to perfection and has lived in history for 40 years and has a following of over a 10s of millions strong worldwide and just because there is a fad for the odd Musical to “work”on TV the past couple of years (debatable if you ask me).

It was announced yesterday that Fox TV are intending to go ahead with their plan to reimagined The Rocky Horror Picture Show. They plan to rename this the Rocky Horror Picture Show EVENT.

Now, I have absolutely no problem with seeing Musical Theatre on TV, none whatsoever, but if a show has been made and it has been successful as Rocky has been, it was a cult that grew into a phenom that has grown into mainstream. In the UK the stage show still tours every year and still plays to full houses every night every where it goes. In America, Midnight Showings of the film still attract rabid fan-bases of the film and Casts act out the film in front of the screen as the film plays.

This “reimagining” isn’t about bringing the film to a new audience like the producers are claiming, this is, in my opinion, a cash grab, this is a chance for Fox to renew the rights that they own to have another revenue stream going into the Shows 40th anniversary year.  No doubt once the TV special happens there will be a soundtrack CD released (or iTunes download) and then after that there will be a DVD and Blu Ray release of the TV special (not to mention international TV rights).

As far as I’m concerned now, the people behind this production should be sent right back transsexual Transylvania, if not shot by Riff Raff first. I doubt that will happen. My only hope in the coming months in that Richard O’ Brien will get on board and give this a legitimacy and heart and not just a Glee pastiche.

Until we know more, and until my head stops pounding and my nose stops running I’ll leave you steping to the right and pelvic thrusting.

A-Z – I – Invasion


 The year is 2020 and things have gotten way out of hand. As I sit here and type this out, I have no idea how long I have left. The generator in the yard is running dangerously low on fumes and I am saving my work every two minutes so that hopefully some day when sanity has resumed this’ll be read and understood.

Let me go back.

It all began with news reports back in 2015 of a Colorado Lake being infested with Goldfish. Yeah, you read that right, Goldfish, those stupid little fish you win at the fair that inevitably die after two weeks and you end up flushing down the toilet to not upset the kids. Them little bastards infested a lake in Colorado, USA. It seems that someone let a few of their pet Goldfish loose in one the lakes and then over a time they spawned and then it happened… The accident.

The big spill.

The day in late October 2017 when they had exhausted all the humane ways of trying to get rid of the now growing colony of fish they had decided to electrocute them. They were going to pass  massive shocks of electricity through the lake at 25 minute intervals over a week. After  that they were going to drain the lake and then start the mass clean up process.

On day two of the electro process a tanker from a nearby food processing plant was passing and it was hauling colouring for that goop those American kids drink that got banned over the rest of the world… Mountain Dew (well not banned but modified). Well, somehow, the tanker spilled its load into the lake just as the fish were being fried and it caused a reaction and the fish mutated. It started a reaction.

Now 2 and a half years later the world is dealing with hordes of Creatures from the Black Lagoon and we can’t stop them. NOTHING can stop them.

Scientists are working on the assumption that eventually they will need to go back to fresh water, but it hasn’t happened yet, so they assume the preservative and additives in the Drink goop has altered their DNA so much it has created the greatest Monster.. The Mountain Goldfish.

My generator is dying, I have to go.

I hope you have a better life now than we did at the end.

Whilst this may seem a little whimsical and goes along with the rest of my nonsensical stories from the past couple of weeks, there is in fact a basis in fact to today’s story and it is really really current as in it was in the press in just the past couple of days. You can check out this video from The Slate website (which hasn’t taken it wholly seriously either)

The Mountain Dew thing though, that is true, that has something to do with the Corn Syrup and the nasty sugars the American producers add to it… We can’t get the good stuff over here in Europe any more… we have to have the tame “Sports Energy Drink” that tastes like urine. Pah!

A-Z – H – Holographic


Ladies and Gentlemen, Rockers and Rollers.
Groovers and Shakers, It’s time to shake your Money Makers

*Stamping feet beat a rhythm*

The band you haven’t seen Come Together
Since the Told you To Hide Your Love Away

*the screams build louder*

Last seen on Saville Row, The Police,
The Told them to Get Back; Then They Were Gone!

*4 Blue Spotlights appear on the stage*

For One Song Only… The Beatles.

The 4 Blue Spotlights Opened in time with a thunderous Open Chord that rang like a Choir Invisible, to show pixel perfect reconstructions of The Beatles.

*The crowd screams grew to levels unheard of since 63..that’s 1963*

“..So why on earth should I moan, Cos when I get you alone
You Know I feel OK”

*The stage lights swirls and whirl, changing colours and shapes. The audience scream and cry for more*

“When I’m home everything seems to be right
When I’m home feeling you holding me tight, tight, yeah”

*A fleeting moment in history passed in just over 150 seconds*

The stage returns to dark.

“The Management of the Hard Days Night Hotel & Casino complex would like to thank you for your Patronage in this the 100 Anniversary of Death of All Known Music. Please join us Next year when we will bring you Michael Jackson singing to a Rat. Thank You once again and please tip your robotic waiters on the way out.”

A-Z – G – Garrotted

G(This post is a co production of the Hurwood Bros Hive Mind)

Fillipe had been training his whole life for this moment. Ever since he had come from the Academy he had known that today might happen… hoped it would happen. It had been drilled into him from day one of basic that if he ever had the chance get the good stuff that he was to answer no questions and just jump on the chance first and maybe, just maybe answer questions later, if he was still alive.

Ever since the Cowpocalypse had struck 10 years ago and all the Cows had been wiped out, all cheese and dairy products had been like Gold to Humans (after all, what good was gold to a mouse). All Mice wanted was cheese, and the bravest and the boldest mice were selected at just after birth to go to the Academy to train to be Cheese Assassins. Half starved Three quarters crazed mice who would go to any lengths to obtain the holy grail for their commune of Mice.

Each mile of land had 3 Cheese Assassins who were stationed permanently in that one area who at the first sniff of cheese would be deployed to the site.

On one particularly cold March Wednesday Fillipe had been scrambled to some old Farmhouse after a tip off from a squeaker (a field look out mouse). Fillipe had his usual tools in his bag. all lightweight so he could move quickly and quietly, undetected. Once at the Farmhouse he entered the premises and his eyes quickly grew accustomed to the dark.

His nose started to twitch straight away, he knew that he had hit the pay-dirt. This was the big one.

He was going to be a hero after this haul.

His training took over.

From over his shoulder he removed the bag he was carrying and from out of the bag he pulled the strong thin metal Garrotte with a pneumatic bolt on one end of the wire to attach to the table. He also had a larger bag to smuggle away his haul.

He climbed the table leg and scoped out the table top, there it was. The most beautiful illicit thing he had ever seen. A Whole Block of Cheese bigger than he had ever seen. His awe was so big he was distracted for a moment that it took a bird chirrup outside to bring him back to his mission.

He scurried around to the far side of the Cheese deployed the blot into the Table and then threw the Garrotte over the Cheese. Up and over first time, He was back around the front side before the wire hit the table as the wire landed he pulled the Garrotte down and sliced half of the Illegal  bounty away and had started to stuff it into the larger sack that he had bought with him.

From the window, sunlight had started to break through, time to move, with a smirk, he swiped a crumb of cheese from the table and stuffed into his mouth and ran for the door.

Another mission over, another group of families will be fed for a few days from fat cat humans breaking the rules.

A-Z – F – Finale


As he placed the blocks in sequential order it was only a matter of time before the red and green flashing lights would start whirling in the great conference room. He’d been sat there for what seemed like days, only taking breaks when the pain in his knees and bladder got to much for his concentration to handle.

Now he was so close to the end.

The grand prize was irrelevant.

This was all about proving his uncle wrong. It wasn’t “Digital Lego”. This took skill and planning. This was Minecraft and he was good.

He had ten more blocks to place and then it would be finished. His greatest sculpt to date.

The Taj Mahal!




Fireworks on the stage, lights focused on the girl on the next trestle table.

She had finished a split second before the boy.

He didn’t win. But he had created beauty. All with digital pixels.

Everyday, a new creation. A new world, all with the click of a mouse.

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